Last night the kids had already been put to bed before I got home, but I went upstairs to tuck them in anyways. First I went into the boys room. Sam said "Dad, we're not supposed to tell you about the ice cream." Sam is terrible about at keeping a secret.
"What ice cream?"
Sam looked at me and covered his mouth with his hands. So I asked PJ. "PJ, what is this about ice cream?"
PJ looked at me, and thought for a second. "I, uh, don't know about any ice cream."
Sam blurted out, "Mom told us not to tell you about the ice cream because you would eat it all."
After tucking the kids into bed I went downstairs. Kathleen went to bed around ten. Around Ten fifteen, I was getting my second bowl of ice cream, when I heard this voice echoing down the stairway. "NO MORE ICE CREAM!" Had she been lying in bed waiting to here me open the freezer door? I stood there for a while staring at the fridge. I waited half an hour, snuck up to the freezer door, carefully opened the door a half inch. "NO MORE ICE CREAM!" The voice echoed down.
The next morning at breakfast, Kathleen scolded the children. Sam looked at me and said "Mom said to say " and he hooked his fingers into quotation marks "nothing about the ice cream."
"What do those quotation marks mean, Sam?" I asked.
"They mean you're lying!" He said proudly, smiling and nodding his head.
"I didn't eat that much ice cream." I protested.
"Look, at how much ice cream is left." Kathleen said, and showed the kids how much was left. They all looked shocked, like someone had told them the world was running out of air, or that eagles had become extinct.
"That wasn't all me!" I protested, but sensed I was losing this battle.
"Yeah, but a lot of it was." Anna said.
"Plus, the night before last you ate all the cookies." PJ said. Well, that was true.
"I have to go to work." I said and slunk out of the kitchen, ending any chance of further abuse.