Sunday, November 30, 2008

Sitting around on a Sunday

I am sitting by the fireplace on a rainy Sunday when Sam walks up to me.

"Dad, please don't tell mom that you made me my first chocolate milk."

"Don't tell mom I made you a chocolate milk this morning?"



"No reason."

Sam is only allowed to have two chocolate milks per day. He then starts to slowly back away from me.

"And there is nothing behind my back." He says, continuing to back up.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Sneaking a little Ice Cream

Last night the kids had already been put to bed before I got home, but I went upstairs to tuck them in anyways. First I went into the boys room. Sam said "Dad, we're not supposed to tell you about the ice cream." Sam is terrible about at keeping a secret.

"What ice cream?"

Sam looked at me and covered his mouth with his hands. So I asked PJ. "PJ, what is this about ice cream?"

PJ looked at me, and thought for a second. "I, uh, don't know about any ice cream."

Sam blurted out, "Mom told us not to tell you about the ice cream because you would eat it all."

After tucking the kids into bed I went downstairs. Kathleen went to bed around ten. Around Ten fifteen, I was getting my second bowl of ice cream, when I heard this voice echoing down the stairway. "NO MORE ICE CREAM!" Had she been lying in bed waiting to here me open the freezer door? I stood there for a while staring at the fridge. I waited half an hour, snuck up to the freezer door, carefully opened the door a half inch. "NO MORE ICE CREAM!" The voice echoed down.

The next morning at breakfast, Kathleen scolded the children. Sam looked at me and said "Mom said to say " and he hooked his fingers into quotation marks "nothing about the ice cream."

"What do those quotation marks mean, Sam?" I asked.

"They mean you're lying!" He said proudly, smiling and nodding his head.

"I didn't eat that much ice cream." I protested.

"Look, at how much ice cream is left." Kathleen said, and showed the kids how much was left. They all looked shocked, like someone had told them the world was running out of air, or that eagles had become extinct.

"That wasn't all me!" I protested, but sensed I was losing this battle.

"Yeah, but a lot of it was." Anna said.

"Plus, the night before last you ate all the cookies." PJ said. Well, that was true.

"I have to go to work." I said and slunk out of the kitchen, ending any chance of further abuse.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Telling Jokes

I told a joke to the kids on the way home on Saturday. It was a joke I had heard on the Blues Brother album back in the seventies.

I said, "Hey, when he get home, who wants to have a wish sandwich?"

"What's a wish sandwich?" Anna asked.

"A wish sandwich is when you have two slices of bread, and you wish you had something to put between them."

Nobody laughed. Then Anna said, "Dad, when we get home I'm making lunch."

I think the kids are laughing less and less at my jokes. As they get older they are starting to become more embarrassed by me.

PJ tells a lot of jokes. Some time ago I bought him a book of "1001 Stupid Jokes" at a thrift shop for fifty cents. He has read and re-read it to the point where the pages have become dog-eared. He tells all of his jokes in a complete dead pan way.

"Dad, what happens to a lion who eats a comedian?"

"I don't know, PJ, what happens."

"He feels funny."

"That's pretty funny, PJ." I force a little laugh.

"Dad, what's a comedian?"

"That is someone who tells jokes for a living."

"So I guess I am a comedian, huh."

"Well, sure, PJ, kind of."

Then there is Sam, who doesn't know that many jokes, but has an infectious laugh and says things that are unintentionally hilarious. But on this particular occasion, he decided to tell a joke to a woman who happened to be at our house. It was a joke, that he had heard Anna and PJ telling each other during the day.

"Hey, " he said, "did you know that Uranus is a gas giant?" and then he started laughing.

Now that was pretty funny, but of course I had to hold it in and tell Sam that that wasn't an appropriate thing to say to a grown up.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

happy halloween!

Originally uploaded by peteshaw
PJ and Sam were Mario and Luigi of course, while Anna was a Spaghetti Dinner. We went to the parade, and then trick or treated. My mom was down for the weekend and got to enjoy the night with us. What fun!

happy halloween!

Originally uploaded by peteshaw