The other morning I got up with Anna to get her ready for school. She was grumpy. She is always grumpy at that time of the morning. I asked her what she wanted for breakfast.
She told me she wanted a grapefruit. No problem, I can do that, I thought to myself. I handed her a grapefruit.
"Aren't you going to cut this up llike mom does?"
Uh oh. Those fateful words. Like mom does. "How does mom cut the grapefruit up?" I asked.
"I don't know, she just takes the seeds out, and then cuts it into little pieces."
I dig through the drawers and find the grapefruit knife. Crudely, I start hacking away at the large yellow fruit. Finally I produce a smalll pile of triangular pieces. I am very proud. I hand the grapefruit pieces to Anna. Long moments pass.
"Could I have some cereal?"
I don't argue the point, and get her her cereal. Then it soon becomes tikme to get dressed for school. This is always an ordeal. Anna never wants to get dressed, she never wants to brush her hair.
"Anna! I'll make you a deal. If you can get dressed and ready for school, including your shoes, in the next five minutes, I will give you a wizard point." I pause, and then suddenly grab a large knife from the drawer. "But!" I cackle "If you do not then I will chop off the little finger of your left hand!" I slam the knife against the cutting board for effect.
"Dad, you're just joking." Anna says. She is on the floor putting her shoes on and doesn't even look at me while she says this. She has been schooled by wife, as all my children have been. They don't believe a single word I say. On this morning though, she is ready in five minutes, and catches her bus to school by 7:10AM. I get another cup of coffee.