Friday, January 02, 2004


We are staying here at my mom's up in Glens Falls for the week, and we had a chance to look at some old New Year's resolutions we had made many years past and to see what, if any, we had managed to keep. It was great fun. Here, let me list a couple.

1975-Mike Shaw
"...try to earn more money, buy more of my own things"

well, considering Mike was all of twelve, I am sure he is buying more of his own things now, so good job Mike!

"will walk 3 times a week. goal=physical fitness"

okay, thats pretty good. Fitness is an admirable goal. Mom just went for a walk yesterday, so she is probably doing a good job.

"My resolution is to try not to let my mother and my brother drive me crazy after all only inhumane."

What? I don't even know what I meant by that. "only inhumane"? Maybe I meant "I am only human". I guess I did alright, I am still relatively sane, so something must have clicked at some point. Maybe when I moved out.

Mike (No year listed)-assume 1977
"Mike will try to improve my procrastination and party participation. I will ski fast think snow and generally have a good time. I will help mom to help herself to have a hefty hair-raising good time."

Wow. What can I say? Groovy.

The next batch was from 1980. I was a freshman in high school. Mike was a junior.

1980, January 1. Ellie.
"Aerobic dancing or Yoga or Jogging. Get in shape."

Hmmm.... I am seeing a pattern.

1980, January 1, Mike.
"1.)Do my wash
2.)No smoking.
3.)not get in trouble
4.)drink everyday"

Well, 1), 2), and 3) seem pretty admirable. But 4)? Mike hasn't smoked for quite some time. Also, as far as I know he doesn't drink every day either. I'm also pretty sure he doesn't do his laundry to often, and as far as getting into trouble, well I guess I shouldn't go there either.

1980, January 1st. Pete
"1.)Lose Weight
2.)Count number of sneezes"

Bad news. I have gained weight and have no idea how many times I have sneezed this weekend, let alone sine 1980.

A lot of the years were missing, which was a drag. But on the bright side, we found another! This envelope was from the mid 80's, so flash forward about ten years or so. I'm in college at Clarkson, Mike's in college ESF in Syracuse.

1985, January 4th. Mom
"1.)Try to keep myself mentally and physically fit.
2.)Get my house straightened out."

Well, Mom seems to be still struggling with the fitness thing, although she did add "mentally". Also, she wants to get her house straightened out, but with both kids at college, is this really an issue? Maybe she needs to worry less about the house in light of her newly resolved mental fitness.

1985, January 4th. Flip
"1.)To stay under 180#s
2.)To be a little more careful of how I say things to Ellie.
3.)To live through 1985 so that I can be here to make more resolutions in 19865."

Frankly, 1.) was the first normal resolution I have read so far. 3.) was a success too, since Flip is still with us today. As for 2.) I probably shouldn't go there. It sounds like it was prompted by one of those things you say that you wish you hadn't, along the lines of "No honey, its not the dress that makes your ass look big."

1984, December 31st. Pete
"1.)I resolve not to abuse myself.
2.)I resolve to wake up every morning.
3.)I resolve to respect my mom's wishes even though they are dumb and foolish.
4.)I resolve not to fart."

Hmmm. Well, #1, that's kind of disturbing. I was pretty self destructive back then, which for the most part I no longer am. I let other people ruin my fun today, so I guess that was a good resolution. Also, I have been pretty consistent with the waking up thing. I have even got a pretty good track record with paying lip service to mom's dumb and foolish wishes. But there is #4, just staring at me like Sauron's big evil eye. I've been bad you see. Very, very bad.


This brings us to the present. There were no other resolutions we had to read, but we all wrote down some new ones, which I will now relate. We were having a bit of fun with them. Also, we were drinking, so they get a bit convoluted. I will try and clarify where necessary.

2003, January 1st. New Years Resolutions


"1.)I cannot be resolving every year to be less sarcastic.
2.)I resolve to be less sardonic this year.
3.)ditto to Tina's resolution, with a side of Kathleen's.
4.)to exercise at 12 on weekdays, and to obey my alarm clock."

"I resolve to keep closer track of my spending and to keep asshole man on a short leash for the coming year."

Tina Justus
"I resolve to enjoy my friends more and my husband more than that."

"I resolve to smile more, even if its only for my hubby!"

"I reserve to be good all year" (no snickering please - editor)

"I resolve to respect people"


"1.)To take some golf lessons and stop complaining.
2.)To learn to parachute *
3.)To learn cave-diving*"

"1.)To listen to others + be more patient + respectful.
2.)To lose 15 pounds.
3.)To spend more time on myself/try + focus on what I want to do professionally for the next 20 years.

(I guess Rob decided at this point to add some sort of magnum opus of self improvement, and thoughtfully listed the following.--pjs)
"1.)To learn to work at the office.
2.)to not use bad language.
3.)to have more patience behind the wheel.
4.)to exercise once a week.
5.)to take a language course
6.)to be a better husband - everyday.
7.)to stop complaining."

After reading Rob's resolutions I started to feel guilty. Was I even trying to improve myself? Here I was just trying to keep "asshole man" in check, whatever that means, while Rob was embarking on this multipart program towards becoming a better human being. I immediately resolved to improve myself more than Rob in the coming year.

* these resolutions were actually added by Ellie's inheritance seeking sons. Just a joke.

well, maybe we will read these again next year. Happy new year!

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